What’s truly narcissistic is the notion that God is so focused on each individual human (me) that “He” puts us through daily tests to gauge each individual’s level of faith.

Of course, if your car displays the proper bumper sticker, “He” can make a parking spot appear in his sleep.

Which brings up the burning question: Does God sleep? If so, when and where? If not, that might explain why “He” keeps giving us so much fucking grief.