One can be proud of being queer (or proud to be an ally of the queer and trans community) and, at the same time, be proud of being American. It's just that the bigoted right wing has commandeered the flag to stand for a way of thinking that progressives (including queer and trans folks) don't want to be associated with. It's a shame that we feel we have to choose either or. But, if I had to choose one or the other, it would always be the rainbow flag over the Stars and Stripes.