In queer circles, being out is expected. Our potential sexual relationships depend upon us being candid and honest about our sexual orientation.

Meanwhile, trans folk are making every effort to blend in by presenting convincingly as their gender identity. In the piece, you talk about striving to be "pretty," which suggests that you seek to affect a more feminine appearance, a look men will find alluring. Then, when you succeed in that effort and a man is attracted to you, you find yourself faced with a dilemma. Obviously, if that attraction is going to go beyond flirting, the truth will have to be revealed.

Then again, we do share one common challenge: outside of our insular communities, we are constantly making the calculation as to who needs to know about our personal particulars and when and how to inform them. We have no control over how someone else will receive that information. Ultimately, whether one is queer or trans (or both) coming out always poses the risk of rejection, or worse.