I understand your frustration with these extremely specified identity labels. And, I've actually had other people (both gay and straight) tell me right to my face that I'm not bi, that I'm actually gay and should admit it, or that my definition of bisexual is no longer valid.

Bottom line, it's ridiculous for anyone to impose their definitions or identity terms on anyone else. For me, queer is plenty good enough. Only someone I'm actually having sex with is actually entitled to the details.