I guess I shouldn't have felt so wounded that the fellowship I'd been a part of for 7 years didn't feel the need to protect its LGBTQ+ members from harm. It seems they'd rather look the other way and pretend they're living by UU principles than to have to demonstrate those principles in real life.

And, yes, this is indeed an example of a paradox of tolerance (tolerance being a word I disdain because it only means that someone is willing to put up with someone else, while feeling no obligation to accept them).