I appreciate your perspective and there is a lot of truth in your comment. Focusing on two words (inconvenient truth) because they, to you, seem to trivialize my responsibility in what was a truly devastating scenario — for everyone involved, especially my ex — seems out of proportion to the whole picture. My mission is to comfort men like me with the knowledge that they are not alone in their painful dilemmas and to encourage them at whatever stage of their deception to finally face responsibility and choose honesty. I can't write from my ex-wife's perspective, even though my remorse for hurting her so severely remains.

For most mortals, the idealized expectations of traditional marriage, as sincere as we all are when we take our vows, are unrealistic from the get go, regardless of the sexual orientation of the partners. The script for relationships shouldn't be one-size-fits all. Most of us are incapable of monogamy "till death do us part." We're human, we're flawed, we're weak and no one person can fulfill every need for another person. What are we supposed to do about that? I'm still trying to figure that out. Peace.