As an out-bi man in a mixed-orientation relationship with a woman, I’ve often wished I were either straight or gay… then, I would be assured of finding (and being embraced by) an accepting community. From my experience, such a community is difficult to find. I’ve even felt personal rejection and erasure from queer folks who tell me that my own definition of bisexuality and my declared identity isn’t valid. It’s painful when you know who you are and someone tells you unequivocally that what you claim to be isn’t a real thing. Similar, I guess, to a white person telling you that they don’t see color, thus automatically invalidating any perspective you may have as a black person.